In my last blog, I wrote about New Year's Resolutions and some facts about dieting. Be sure to check it out if you haven't already. This blog is about starting where you are. And, then figuring out where you want to go. It's a New Year's Resolution Blog but from a more mindful and spiritual point of view.
In 1994, Jon Kabat-Zinn, an American professor emeritus of medicine and the creator of the Stress Reduction Clinic and the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, wrote a book that launched itself onto bestseller lists nationwide and has sold over 750,000 copies to date. The book is called "Wherever You Go There You Are." One of the many reasons this book has been so wildly successful has to do with the mythological construct that we are bombarded with that says, "the grass is greener on the other side." As if everyone else has it better and everywhere else, other than where you are, is a more delightful place to live. And, if only we had what they had, then, maybe we would be happier. Or possibly, if we were skinnier, prettier, taller, or any other - er, we would be better. But as Kabat-Zinn so eloquently explains in his book, "Wherever You Go There You Are."
Maybe it's time to be where you are. Because, I need to tell you this secret, "Even once you arrive at your ideal weight, you will still be you."
So, why try? Why even bother?
Think of it this way, you have been given one body, and it's on loan from some unseen and unexplainable life force beyond human comprehension. You don't know when or how the universe is going to come to say, "Your lease is up." Like any other vehicle, if you give your body, regular maintenance and take good care of the engine by driving it and refueling it with the proper fuel, it will run better for the time you have it. And, if it runs better, well, then it's a lot more fun to roll the windows down and feel the wind in your face.
Let's BEGIN WHERE YOU ARE.
Let's start thinking about your CURRENT REALITY.
BEGIN BY ASKING, "WHERE AM I?" (Use another sheet of paper or journal to go through the prompts)
Fill in the blank here: I AM ....
Or Use This Vision Wheel To Assist You In Acknowledging Everything You ARE CURRENTLY DOING.
(Click the PICTURE if you want to download it and use it)
At least once a day, and on a good day, I ask myself these two quintessential questions throughout the day, "Who am I?" And "Where am I?"
The question of "Who am I?" leads me to my intentions. My intentions are the daily seeds of desire to be a positive role model for my children and to be proud of the person I am and for all that I do. And, once I remind myself who I am, then I ask myself, "How will I be that?"
Then comes the "Where?" The where leads me to a place of contemplation. In contemplation, also known as meditation, I examine my current physical reality. I consider where I am in my life. Am I where I want to be?
So, let's start again, "Where Are YOU?" And "Where Do You Want To Go?"
To know where you are, you need to step outside of yourself to observe your physical world reality as if you were a scientist experimenting on a new test subject. Look at yourself with fresh eyes and willingness to own your stuff.
The scientist has to shift the focus from the perpetual ego state of "I am who I am because others made me this way" and, "I am who I am because of my job, the traffic, the family responsibilities, my upbringing, my genetics, etc..." To > "I am who I AM because of the choices I have made." This mindset is also known as "Radical Responsibility." Fleet Maull talks about this in his book called Radical Responsibility. "It's the belief that your current
situation, whatever it is, has the power to determine your future."
So, lets' say, you are envisioning yourself losing weight in 2020. To lose weight in the future, you have to get 100% honest about your present. You must look at your current health status and take 100% responsibility for your weight, your size, your health, your mental state, your emotions, your family life, your spiritual life, and the whole bag of chips!
But wait! Don't I always talk about SELF COMPASSION and EMBRACING YOUR BODY AS IT IS? Yes, I do. And if your New Year's Resolution involves getting fit, then you need to start first by loving yourself at this very moment. You can love yourself as you are today, and based on that love, decide to make some changes that are in your best interest. So rather, than changing from a place of "I hate my body" change from a place of "I love my body so much that I am going to take better care of her/him."
If you begin by saying, "I will love myself when I am 30 pounds lighter," you might get where you want to go, but you will still end up being YOU. You still might be incredibly hard on yourself and not enjoy being you. And, YOU might not be happier when you are thirty pounds lighter because you will always want more than what you have. So, begin with LOVE.
Begin today by taking 100% responsibility for your physical health and well-being. Examine what parts of your physical body that you would like to be different.
For example, "Currently, I am thirty pounds heavier than my ideal healthy weight. I feel uncomfortable in my body. It's hard for me to put on my socks and shoes in the morning because the extra weight I am carrying gets in my way. I can't keep up with my kids when we go to the park because I get winded when I walk briskly. My doctor says my Blood Glucose levels are too high, and if I don't get it under control through diet and exercise, I will need to go on Insulin."
TAKE SOME TIME ON A SHEET OF PAPER TO WRITE OUT WHAT YOUR CURRENT REALITY IS AND SPECIFICALLY ELABORATE ON WHAT YOU WANT TO BE DIFFERENT.
Are there any choices you can see yourself making that are contributing to you being 30 pounds over your ideal weight, having high blood glucose levels, and being uncomfortable in your body? Consider all the possibilities.Take RADICAL RESPONSIBILITY for everything you eat, don't eat, drink, don't drink, the amount of sleep you get, the amount of exercise you do or don't do.
Write out your daily schedule from sun up to sun down and examine it.
What do you want to change about your physical reality?
*This includes your body, your relationships, and anything that you can see when you look at where you are.
CHANGE CREATES CHANGE
In order to change your future reality, you have to shift your mindset to being fully present in the now. What does this mean? Rather than focusing your attention on how happy you will be when you are thirty pounds lighter, begin to focus on the feeling of being fully alive today.
Ask yourself, "What am I already doing right now?" Then, breathe more fully in the present moment. This creates a shift from an anxious mind to a more present mind.
When we become more present in our bodies, we feel instantly healthier and complete. When we feel healthier, it becomes easier to make choices that are in greater alignment with health. There's more to this and it has to do with our brain and gut chemistry, but for now, let's KISS (Keep It Simple) and focus on being more fully present and 100% responsible for your life. Affirm for yourself, "I AM PRESENT."
Once you settle in the present moment, consider from the place where you are to the place where you would like to go. Consider what other choices you can make to experience the healthier state you want to experience.
Can you see any ways that you can make new choices in regards to your fuel and your daily activity that will assist you in becoming healthier in your physical body?
(Write out your answers on another sheet of paper.)
Or if you like, download and print the Vision Wheel. Fill it out with any supporting details as you envision your future self. Use positive phrases and state everything as if it is already happening.
Can you consider changing your self-talk so that you feel supported, loved, and encouraged today?
(Write out words of praise, affirmations, and or positive self-talk to assist you in being compassionate and kind to yourself TODAY).
I would love to know where you are going. Let me know! I am here to help but ultimately don't forget to bring your whole self with you. If you need help setting up your current and future reality, I now offer one on soul-sessions. Email me anytime: firstname.lastname@example.org
If you are looking to go deeper into your PRESENCE, my e-book will help you to get where you are.
Sending YOU LOVE AND MAGIC!